Jules's story
I was 44 when we started trying to conceive and my husband was 47. We had only met 3 years previously and though I would have started trying for a baby immediately we moved in together, he wanted to be sure it was the right thing to do. Once we started trying I arranged to have acupuncture and actually when I went along for my first session I was already pregnant! However, sadly it was not to be and we suffered an early loss around 6 weeks. We continued to try and I became pregnant again, this time it looked more positive and I got to 10.5 weeks before I started to bleed and to our dismay we discovered at the first scan that it was a blighted ovum (missed miscarriage). We were heartbroken and it caused a big rift in our relationship, me being keen to continue trying and my husband wanting time to grieve. Eventually through couple counselling we resolved our difficulties and agreed to continue trying. We suffered another early loss a few months later.
It was when my acupuncturist told me that he thought that if I wasn’t pregnant by the end of the year then I probably wasn’t going to be successful that I started to feel that I really might never have a child. For me this was unthinkable. Yes I had left it late but life doesn’t always go as planned and I had never been lucky enough to be in a good enough relationship before.
I was seeing a medical herbalist at the time and she suggested to me that we might consider using donor eggs. My first reaction to that was a definite ‘no’, I was so into natural remedies how could I turn full circle and suddenly try donor egg IVF?. Anyhow, after some discussion with my husband and a lot of research into different clinics, both here and overseas, it seemed the obvious way forwards. My body was in perfect condition for a pregnancy having had acupuncture for 3 years and seeing a herbalist for 2 years, all to boost my fertility. I felt really well, but due to my age my eggs were just not good enough quality.
So off we flew to Prague, Gennet Clinic, where we had our first consultation and my husband left a sperm sample to be frozen ready for the transfer. They just had to find a donor and would be in touch. We had requested a donor with the same phenotype (hair colour, eye colour, weight, height etc.) as me, though she would be anonymous and we would never see a picture or have access to any details and neither would the child. I quite liked the idea of anonymity, I think the fact that in this country a child can find out at the age of 18 who the donor was could complicate things for everyone. Even if we had wanted to carry out the treatment here in the UK, the truth was that we couldn’t afford it as it would have cost over £10,000 and I had estimated that we may need 4 attempts (going by the odds, around 50% chance). As it was we managed our first treatment including flights and accommodation at a cost of around £5000.
Once a donor was found the clinic informed us and I was all set to start the medication to ensure my lining was good and ready for the embryo transfer. Before we booked our flights we had to wait and see how many eggs were produced and then how many fertilised and were good enough quality for a transfer. The clinic informed us that our donor produced 7 eggs. I was hoping for a lot more, we had an overnight wait to find out how many had fertilised, I was so anxious opening that email the next day…… 4 had fertilised. We still couldn’t book our flight, we had to wait to see how they were progressing the next day. Another scary email to open and… 3 were doing really well so at last we were given the go ahead to book and fly out for the transfer!
On transfer day I was both anxious and excited. Gennet were fantastic and it all went really smoothly. They advised us to have only 2 embryos transferred as they were such good quality and we took their advice. I could feel little stabs after which I am certain was the embryos implanting, one on each side. We went for a walk around Prague the next day and at one point I felt really faint so we jumped in a cab and went back to the apartment so that I could put my feet up. The next day we flew home and went off on a holiday in the UK for the dreaded 2 week wait.
It turned out to be a really stressful holiday, the weather was terrible and I got cramps and bleeding and was convinced it was all over. I felt so devastated. I called Gennet Clinic to ask if I should stop the medication and they reassured me that I may still be pregnant and to definitely not stop them. Once we were back home it was just a few days until the official test date. The bleeding had stopped by this time but I assumed it was the medication not allowing a full blown period and was still certain I wasn’t pregnant.
On test day I took the test just to confirm that I could stop the medication. I had already started to plan the next attempt. To my amazement and disbelief the test was positive! We were absolutely thrilled. Of course the first trimester was a worrying time and I analysed every twinge. I felt terribly sick in the evenings which delighted me because I knew it was a good sign. We eventually went for our first scan at 9 weeks, I was terrified having seen an empty sac on the previous pregnancy. My heart was in my mouth As soon as the sonographer began the scan up on the screen popped two little sacs – it was twins! We were both speechless. I couldn’t have been happier. Finally I was going to be a mummy.
I was lucky to have a trouble free pregnancy and my two little ones, a boy and a girl, were born by planned caesarean section in March 2011. I will never forget that journey from the theatre to the recovery room with one little baby tucked under each arm. I think that was the proudest and happiest moment of my whole life.
